Pre Marital Counseling : What not to say

Your husband isn’t perfect. Neither are you. But telling him what’s wrong with him is a surefire way to destroy your marriage.


Men need to feel that their marriage is a safe zone that they can simply enjoy. They need to feel that they can be who they are, without being told that what they do is wrong. Because of that, you need to careful about how you open up a discussion about what isn’t satisfying you in your marriage.


I don’t recommend that you tell your partner: “I’ve been reading this book, and it says that we need to work on our relationship.” The phrase ‘work on’ implies that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. It will make him feel as if he’s not doing enough and put him immediately on the defensive.



Avoid telling him, “I think we need to talk about our marriage.” The ambiguity of the statement will lead him to expect the worse. As a result, he’ll close off emotionally rather than opening up to what you have to say.


Rather than criticizing your marriage, you tell your partner that you want to feel even closer and more connected to him. Tell him, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I want to spend more time with you. I miss all the things we used to do when we were dating. Do you think we could find the time to talk to each other more?”


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Pre Marital Counseling: Marriage

Marriage is an art. In order to be successful in marriage you need to seek some advice from those who are successful in marriage life or happily married couples.

You can always ask them what keep both of them together. You will surprised the answer that you will get is commitment. In marriage institutions when feelings of love, lust and infatuation come and go.

Pre marital counseling is essential in order to garner the knowledge and tips to enhance the commitment and feeling that maintains the longevity of the marriage.

When you know that our spouse going to have affect your future especially contemplating the birth of your children pre marital counseling is something that you have to consider seriously to see what you don’t know about your spouse.

Most of the couples won’t see their weakness until the honeymoon is over. Only then you will see friction between both of you. Most of the time major decisions are not agreed upon and you will fighting for many issues that you should have been discussed long before the marriage. This is where pre marital counseling come as rescue.

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Pre Marital Counseling:Marriage or Love

Love and marriage is inseparable but the question that we all will have is which one will come first? Marriage is tough but it’s worth your effort and commitment. You are ready for the commitment until death part you both then you should also willing to commit for pre marital counseling. Successful marriage is not achieved overnight it have to be worked out overnight with sheer commitment and realistic goals.

It’s really important that you seek pre marital counseling in order to sail smoothly in your marriage life. Marriage is always give and take policy and you will definitely face problems or friction with your spouse, the question is not if but when you will face it.

So when the problem arises, you need some tools to help you weather the storms. This is where pre marital counseling comes handy. You are more likely will be successful in your marriage. The counseling session that you went through will force out some of potential underlying issues that might arise in later stage in marriage. As a couple you can’t make your own decision and that will definitelty affect your loved ones.

Choose wisely your pre marital counseling session for your emotional well being especially your loved ones

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Pre Marital Counseling :Secrets behind Pre Marital Counseling

Most of the marriage counselors recommending pre marital counseling. The objective of marriage is to be happy in the long run. Professional counselors will reduce the risk of divorce.

Pre marital counseling will prepare couples to improve their relationship, and prepare them for future challenges that they might face in future. Marriage counseling also will inject fresh energy in a relationship. A month before marriage is the ideal time to have counseling. After the wedding will be to late already as the problem will be mounting up.

Usually after wedding couples will be facing more problems as they have to manage their careers, taking care of children. In order to sustain the family both partners must be very strong emotionally so that the family goal can be achieved. Pre marital counseling can help couples to achieve this.

Pre marital counseling is on going education for marriage institutions.

It will teach how to resolve problems that every couple must face in a life time. There are a few programs like communication skills, problem assessment sessions, and financial seminar to educate couples because some common problems are coming from these areas.

For successful marriage counseling, the counselor will be covering essential of successful marriage, communication skills, compatibility, long term goals, and sexuality. Pre marital literally providing supporting ground to the couples to deal with the problems that they might encounter along the way.

When you decide for marriage counseling it should only be tailored for both of you not in open discussion. Some strategies will be discussed to give the couples some idea how to solve the marital problems.

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Pre Marital counseling : 5 ways to help a relationship

Relationship is the most difficult part in human life. That’s the reason pre marital counseling is very important and helpful. Some key things that couples can achieve through counseling.

1. Understanding each other – through counseling sessions you can understand a lot about your partner who will help you to understand better and accept her / his weakness for good.

2. Be kind to each other – you should express gratitude and appreciate more which creates more loving and caring environment for both.

3. Be closer – you should spend more time together with your spouse. Pre marital counseling will help you to reconnect you with old spark that draw you to each other in the first place.

4. Helping each other – marital counseling can be very helpful in order to partner to go through transition period such as illness, job changing and emotional problems.

5. Don’t attack each other – when you understand your partner better , you wont attack each other and they wont be need to defend yourself. By doing this also you are helping your partner to overcome the old pain that they might have.

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Pre Marital Counseling: What I need to expect?

 As a start before you get into marriage both of you should take an assessment. Well it could be online or offline depending on the counselor but remember it must be individualized. Few hundreds of question will be asked that related to your relationship, spending habits, marital expectations, and spiritual belief and so on. Once the results are garnered that will be used as basis for your counseling sessions. You should ask your counselor how the counseling has been tailored to you.

You also should receive exercise to strengthen your relationship. For example you can always build on listening skills and what to expect after nuptial. Relationship also needed to be exercised, practiced and maintained like other things in life. In addition you also can ask questions during the pre marital counseling and the counselor will be able to sort this out for you both.

You should expect to work on certain areas like financial, family, parenting, spiritual belief, and communication and so on. The counselor usually will be asking you questions and walk you through the session.

Pre marital counseling will be more effective if you do it in face to face. You can get instant feedback from the counselor and you can a lot of information through this. If you are shy you don’t want to go to a counselor in person then you can opt for phone counseling. But if you ask me pre marital counseling will be effective through face to face counseling where a lot of things can be accomplished.

After the session you should grow closer together because of the pre marital counseling. You should learn about your partner more. You will be able to reduce discrepancy and able to lay a strong foundation to your marriage.

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Pre Marital Counseling: Pre Marital compatibility test

When I got married, my friends were asking are your really compatible with your future wife. I don’t want to respond to that question. After all after my second child we are still together continuing to love each other despite our compatibility.

But sometimes when I taught back this I think they are right, we are not fully compatible. I was not aware of this back then and I don’t give any importance to that. But as time goes by its important to know in advance your couple compatibility and how to deal with incompatibility you may face in future.

So how the heck to check the compatibility? There are 3 important relationship compatibility categories:

·         Emotional

·         Intellectual

·         Sexual

Emotional compatibility measures the emotional attitude towards life. Intellectual and emotional entity is pretty much interrelated to a person. Even tough your intellectual ability is pretty much influenced by your education, environment, social background usually your emotional will override everything in the end.

Intellectual compatibility usually will be tested when you are comparing your opinions and agreement on certain issues. Sometimes when you don’t have same mental wave or intellectual bond your marriage will start to rock. Have you realized that sometimes when two individual having different intellectual ability they cant enjoy the conversation at times.

The last one will be sexual compatibility which involves liking toward sexual preferences. Sometimes one party will be aggressive in sex and others won’t. Usually individuals will have their own sexual desires. So in order to avoid the incompatibility couples have to talk openly about their sexual desires to their partners so that the marriage will be sailing smoothly.

So i would like to suggest get a free marital compatibility offered by many marriage counselors. This is crucial to test all the emotional attitudes for both of you. Once you start talking about it you will identify the differences and how to solve that

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